screw me! ha. no.

Management Papers down, babehhh!! But it's screwed luh. Can you believe it?! I studied everything that came out for essay today!! BUT... My damn brain DIED on me at the WRONG time. Screw it!! And yes, those important points which were needed to ooooooze out of the brain at that very moment just went away without a trace. Maybe it went through some osmosis diffusion effect and turned itself into beads and beads of perspiration. The Sports Hall was so warm and packed with 900 students. Urg, just imagine the instensity and pressure and heat and urgggg, SUNLIGHT beaming unto my face!!!! Such O'Levelish feelings.. Sigh, all in all, blame myself for the LAST MINUTE REVISION and prolly the lack of sleep last night. Thanks to coffee, which was supposed to keep me awake while I work my butt off, I couldn't sleep and was feeling so tired 3AM in the morning. To think I have to wake up 4 hours later. Heartaches weren't enough, suffering from a minor headache, a terrible backache, crampy tummy and a buttache.

Sigh, what's over is done with.

Time to pull out my computer skills textbook which has been stuck in my heap of mess. I bet it has collected a lot of dust, 'cause seriously, CSA is the very last subject I would ever revise. Hmm, Accountings is FORGONE. :) Man, my brain's feeling like a sour plum now, where you know juices get squeezed out dry. I can't exactly think now.. It's prolly malfuctioning already. Oh wait, it's always malfuctioning. Ha. Oh alright, I'm going to pull out the book out of the dirt already.

Holidays, please wait while I'm coming :)
Love y'all.
PS: Happy Belated Birthday Michelle! <3
Roses are RED :p Love you!

stupid.

I tried studying.

But, I just got myself extremely distracted.
So, I ended up doing stupid stuff.

Man, I still suck at drawing potraits. Hahha, I know, they look very unpropotionate. LOL! Damn, it's ugly! Pardon me. LOL.. Buy hey, I got a three for art luh. My theme was related to you know, drawing potraits. And I seriously hated to draw people!! But, hard work pays off. Lol, just a potrait of Lovely and Me(:

Hahahas. I Love You.
Erm. Yea. See y'all around peepos. LOVE YOU!

hmm?

Dear Life,
thanks for being such a BEEEYOTCH!
Damn you, 'cause I have the urge to kill myself. *Clap clap
I'm traumatised. Wrong, dramatised.
Urggggggg.. I'm stresssssssssssed out! Ya, over exams, problems, problems.. PROBLEMATIC!!!
URG!!!! You know!!!!! URGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! *PUI..!
Alright, just kill me, PLEASE!!! Throw daggers, drown me, poison me, whatever fuck luh. ARG!(on second thought, I decided to keep my life.)
I'M FEELING SO F U C K E D U P.
BRAINWASH, BRAINWASH!!!!!!!PLUEEEEAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE...........

Okay, anger done with.

I've placed every single shit that's bothering me aside alr. I think..
Econs was erm, good? Ha, I wouldn't dare to comment on it. Later say too easy, then flung the paper in the end. *blush!! Hahahas. Anyway, SCREW DEFINATIONS LUH. Can be quite dumb when you can do but can't explain what you have just done. Arg.
More papers to sit through anyhoo, and I seriously think, I'm in DEEP SHIT. 'Cause I haven't started revising the rest of the subjects, especially MARKETING!!! :((( Serious, serious problem.. Well, hullos sub-papers? :/ I NEED MY HOLLERDAYYYY! SCREW TP FOR BEING SO FUCKING SLOW! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!
DAMN YOU!!! :x

I MISS LOVELY. :( I've become some loner/loser and would just isolate myself ever since she's with !@@#%#$%. :x Is not she doesn't care aymore, I just feel everything is so different now.. The CHANGE. I guess she might not be feeling the same way anyway.. But, do you know the feeling of 'losing' someone who shares the exact same feelings you go through?? And when these feelings can't be shared amongst others.. Trust me, it sucks... Yadah, yadah.. Looks like there's no one to turn to, except myself..
Okay, you out there, just hope that I'm lying to myself..?
'Cause... Seriously, I'M NOT OKAY! ha.

Sigh, can't believe I wasted time thinking so much.. It sucks more when the thinkings hurt.. Ouch, yes. It feels like I've made a grave mistake when I did not. But how ironic can it be when I've been the mistake all along, and huh.. I didn't even realise... STUPID. What now???? Should I stay.. Or should I go..?

Damn, I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU.

Your chance has come and gone
Now it's a little too late
A little too wrong
All the bliss we build was just another lie.
We'll have to stop the thing that's growing
And we have to go away..


bliss.

so hardworking?

Ha, yes. Very hardworking indeed. Serious! :p
Yeah, have been going through some hardcore mugging this week!
So far Econs is almost done.
Friday's my first paper! Wish me all the best, pluheaaaase.
Was mugging outside for 2 days straight.
Yesterday was with the classmates and today's with Lovely.
Finally, I watched Click!

Man, it's a damn good movie it made my eyes teared a little. Ha, was too embarrassed to cry luh. Was holding them back. Hehe. I know Mich and Jacq cried :p Bleah. YES! CHERISH YOUR DAMN LIFE AND YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. HAHAHA.. Well, we all hate to regret, eh? :( Mugged till late evening with my violent girl and Liping. :p Least I managed to accomplish something. Bahahas.
Went to Hougang Mall with Lovely today to study and have lunch. Yays, seeing Lovely makes me a happy little brat. Hahaha.. I've got sense of achievements! Lol! Ya, 'cause I managed to stay focus and glue my eyes to my bloody lecture notes for 3 hours straight even though I was getting a little distracted by someone! Not going to mention who!! :p Hahaha.. So damn proud of myself though! Now, there's tonnes of formulaes stuck in my pea-brain. Fantastic :D So, I went home for dinner at around 5. Yeap.
Alright, time to return back to the books. :)
Can't you hear them screaming out for me?! Haha.
Study hard y'all.

Uber nice song for you, and me. Hah.
Embrace: Nature's Law.
I tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down
I struggled and I lost the day you knocked me out
Now everything's got meaning, and meanings bring me down
I'm watching as a screening of my life plays out.

Everyday I fight these feelings
For your sake I will hide the real thing
You can run all your life, all mine I will chase

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
You should never fight your feelings
You have to follow nature's law

I'll live with never knowing, if knowing's gonna change
Or stop a feeling growing I will stay away
Like a broken record stuck before a song
A million beginnings none of them the one

Everyday I fight these feelings
For your sake I will hide the real thing
You can run all your life, all mine I will chase

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
You should never fight your feelings
You have to follow nature's law

I wrote her letters and tried to send them
In a bottle I place my hope
An SOS full of good intentions sinking
Will you give it to me, don't make me wait
You built me up, knocked me down
But I will stand my ground
And guard this light that I've found

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
If you let them show, you'll keep them
I know your hurt but soon you'll rise again, again, again...

You should never fight your feelings
When your very bones believe them
You should never fight your feelings
You have to follow nature's law.

PS: Urm...... DAMN YOU. Yes, YOU! :(

bolt of blue.

I've got a very serious problem right now... I just can't indulge in studying at this period of time; when the exams are just 6 days away! Damn, who likes to?! Boo hoo hoo. I need help :( Maybe tomorrow. Oh damn.. Slap me! WAKE ME!



Was a lovely night yesterday :)
A nice long walk, bumming and blabbering beside the kid's playground with your company.. Guess it took my troubles far away. Thanks for the night.. :) Hahaha.. I sound oh-so corny. Bleah.

Late afternoon was spent with a few pages of Econs, TV, slouching on the sofa, rolling around the bed, bumming around, and yelling at brother for hogging the computer for the entire day. All in days' 'work', nothing productive done! :) FANTASTIC JOLENE. *clap clap.

I'm stuck right here in this wreck,
all confused.
don't know whom should I follow.
My heart's aching, my heart's heavy..
My soul's slipping, my soul's sliding away....
What should I do?
Problems, one after another.
:(
Drats...

so random.

Hello wellos people! Today's the last day of school, and just a week more to get myself all geared up for the examinations! Guess it's going to be a tough week.

I'll miss everyone of you!

Went for lunch a while ago with Olivia.

Anyway, I might be holding a big, fat party on my birthday! Hmm, party.. BBQ to be exact luh. Hahaha.. Going to be so broke. LOL. But, I'm so damn excited!!! AHHHH! Alright talk about it, AFTER THE EXAMS. Haha..

Just something dumb and funny to share.
I found my clone :D
HAHAHAHAS.
Presenting.....

Cloned Jolene!
Hahas, pretty?! No?
Look alike? Ha....
So duh right, it's just my elder brother. :)
Hmm, he's just the manly version of me, and I'm the girly version of him.
We just look like each other. TSK TSK.
And, pouting is horrendously cute.
Ha, so damn ironic. :p

Alright, I neeeeed to disappear now :(
Hope to be back reeeeal soon!
ALL THE BEST PEOPLE!
LOVE!

change.

Haha, these pictures have kept me laughing for quite some time.
Look at how we have aged man! LOL.
I swear I wasn't a geek in 2003! HAHA..
It's so great to know that I've been through rain and shine with Olivia for almost 4 not say long, not say short, years.. And I seriously would be lost if she ever leaves my life.

Get to point:
Change. Good? Bad?
Well, made me realise how much it has impacted life.
I've been through different phases where people start to change and, I myself becoming someone else I'm not. Just pondering, have I made the right decision to do so? Oh well, I know changes are inevitable, but just imagine my old-self, quiet and ahem, soft-spoken! Unimaginable. Hahaha.. Oh well, would not be the Jolene today if it wasn't for the change. You wouldn't have someone who laughs practically over every single thing you say and yes! your very very very very COLD JOKES *oops!, or hearing my 'trademark' laughter(everyone knows Jol's nearby when you hear her laughter!), or someone to go crazy with you, or be it, a listening ear (:, and someone whom you can scold, beat, slap, box, bully, taunt or whatever you can do when you get your hands on me whenever you have a bad day, or when you really have nothing better to do!! *AHEM, COUGHS COUGHS..! *Hints hints.. *Coughs!! *Shi.. *Cough Cough! *LE... *COUGHS!!! HAHAS. OOPS! Anyway, before I get victimized by her, again! I'm going to finish crapping the entry.
Everything's changing.... Have you? Good? Bad? No??
HA!
Alright, Period.
Loves, people!

bad day.

I had a bad day today, well, just a tad too unlucky. I woke up at 10.20AM, supposingly to start mugging for the exams, 'cause I spent the previous nights doing practically nothing. Well, turned out that I slapped myself back to bed and overslept, all the way till 12 noon. And only to realise that I was so damn late for lecture, REVISION LECTURE, which commence at 1PM. How stupid. Dragged myself out of bed and was ready by 1.

Was happily grubbing some biscuits for hmm, 'breakfast' and when I was about to get out of the house, when I realised I was LOCKED IN. My brother locked the wrong lock! !@?!@#@#^$*^& *SCREAMS!!! Recently, my family changed the gate's lock. Being the 'kei kiang' me, I misplaced my old keys. So, the old lock couldn't be unlocked!! In the first place, why didn't they remove the old lock when they replaced it with a new one?!?!?! See how frustrating it gets when stupid people do stupid things..?! Erm, and that includes me. Ringed my mum up, and she told me she'll get dad to come home to unlock the gate for me. He was at Kovan and I think he will take longer than expected. Desprate, I called my maid up to ask whether she has seen my keys. And bloody hell, she was the one who kept my keys!!! URG!!!! Sometimes, I wish she could just leave my belongings alone! RAR! Found my keys and fled home.

I only reached school at 2. I was about to reach the overhead bridge when I tripped over the stairs, and I guess I was seen by a lot of people!! URG. How embarrassing!! Well, it's a good thing I didn't trip and FALL. Imagine Jolene rolling down the flight of steps. OHHH! How terrible... Sigh. Saw Kin and Shimin outside the LT and they told me lecture was boring, so they didn't go in. ARHH. If I knew, I wouldn't even turn up! URG! What a waste of my TIME!!!! BOO :( Chilled out w/ Su-h, Shile, Liping and Michelle and went for tutorial. It ended at 6 and just went home straight. Sigh, wanted to catch 'Click' so bad, just my luck that my friends aren't free! Hmmms! :( Just when I wanted to destress, nobody's there... But, everybody's probably busy mugging too. Blame myself for bumming around when exams are just like 8 days away. Sigh. FIVE DAMN PAPERS TO CONQUER. Why is my course so long-winded. When people have 3 or 4 papers, I have 5?! Wtf. Crap RMT. I'm off to mug Econs. I've just got TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to read up. I don't want to FAIL!!! :(( Cya people.

confused

How am I suppose to act like nothing has happened when everything around me is all screwed up? I'm guilt-ridden and tiny little voices in my subconscious mind are screaming out to me, "Can you hear me..? Do you hear me..? 'Cause I need to, just to reach you.." I lied to myself just to pretend everything is alright. But there's nothing much worth going through all the pain 'cause I don't gain. I only regret when I lost it, and finally to realise what an imbecile I am. Oh, what a sight, I lost myself in this mess. Loser.

Bad grades for my coursework.
Examination stress.
People.
Losing people.
Gossiping.
Confused.
Lonely.
&Desperate.

Need to get out..

Life's part and parcel.
How can I help others when I can't even help myself..?
Trying to make things right wasn't easy, especially having to this on my own.

I feel like going for a ride tonight.. Take a breather, and enjoy the night. Sigh. The week wasn't exactly going well for me. Hmmm.. :(

yoo hoo!

Obviously, I'm not mugging for my examinations now, right? Heh.. I'm that reluctant to even touch or take a peep into 'my wonderful world of Retailing'.. Wonderful.. *barf. Ha.. Oh well...... Maybe later. Maybe. Maybe....... Maybe tomorrow! Ha, just kidding. I'm starting to see many of you cursing and swearing at me. *Gives that big &innocent eyes look. Heh. Fab-oh! It's Friday tomorrow! The weekends are here to stay, yea babehh. My weekend schedule would most likely be packed w/ concerts to go. *huffs!

I felt so cheated this afternoon 'cause I went to school when there's no lecture. Hmmmps!! What a waste of my time, could have bum around at home longer. I shouldn't even woke up in the morning. So... It was like 12.30PM and !wtf, the next lesson commences at 3PM.. Worse of all, I COULDN'T GO HOME. *Screams and wails! Rar. Shumei was also another victim. Lol. We decided to go finish up our *tutorial homework* at the lab since we haven't done it. Had lunch at 2 and tutorial at 3. Tutorial was held in the LT18 and I think I was hmmmm, more abnormal than normal today. I started to jump from seat to seat, dancing around, shaking my ass, swing-swanging my hair, and just went cranky. Very very very mad. Lol. No idea what got into me, maybe it's just the mood which was coming along. Heh.

I wish today was like every other day! Upsetting, crankiness and happiness is kinda short-lived and ephemeral.. :/ Someone make me a crazy girl? Please? Oh wait, I am alr crazy. HMMM.. Maybe, just make my hapiness a little more worth while? Or just slap a smile on my face everyday?? Lol... Sounds stupid. Haaha.. Ooooo, craving for m&ms. MMM..... m&ms! Good night people, it's time for me to DO SOMETHING. Hahaha.. Loves.

FIREWORKS!

mmhmm! I'm soooo happy today! Olivia went to catch the fireworks display with me!! SWEEET!!!! I really thought she was the last person who would accompany me to watch such an event! EVERTUALLY, IT TURNED OUT THAT SHE'S THE ONE WHO WENT WITH ME!!!!!! AWWS! I'M SO TOUCHED!! 'Cause I've been wanting to watch it sooo badly! LOL.. And seems like my other friends are catching it w/ their own pals. And I've seriously been whinning for DAYS just to catch it! hahaha! So ya..!
We abandoned the movie idea and headed to Esplanade! This event was really special to me and I'm grateful that I have spent it with the bestest and very special buddy of mine! xD Thank you soooo much!! Mwahhs! Woooo.. I sound mussshaae. LOL.. wooooo.. Anyway, this is the 2nd fireworks display I've seen in my life! That's why it's kinda special to me : )
So, the place was so packed with people! But I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the atmosphere! The fireworks' display was so pretty! Sorry if I'm acting like a total idiot la. @nd time lei!!! LOL. Well, I just like how the fireworks burst, crackle and how it falls into place in the end. Like pretty fake shooting stars!! Hehehehe... I really wish the fireworks were like showers of blessings or something. Hahahaha.. Yeah... I LOVE YOU, OLIVIA! (x *HUGS!
Going back to the MRT station was quite a chore. I had to squeezed through the hundreds of sweat-covered people, that, includes me. LOL. Hehehe. Went to Starbucks to chill and went home.
God, I'm SOOOOOOOO HAPPY! Thank You!!! :D ok, gng bonkers. LOL.

Jol and Oli!

This was the best I could take. Lol.. Sadly, I was block by the tree! :(
Next time got pretty ones then update larhs. My friend's going to take another display soon! Hehehe! Night!

hurrays!

Jolene's a happy girl today :) Why?
Point one, I CAN FINALLY BLOG AFTER GETTING STUPIDLY FRUSTRATED AND HURLING PROFANITIES FOR 98235792304 DAYS :D
Point two, band mates makes me ecstatic!
&point three, just so proud to say that this Semester's projects are oficially over and done with!!!! HURRAYS!!! Hugs to all of my group members, susu, lix, jacq and mr lim lim! xD Wanted to tear over victory, but seemed kind of spastic, huh? Oh well, I'm just so relieved that all 5 projects are completed!! So proud of everyone :)

Sigh, examinations are looming around the corner and it's really time to buck up! I really need to get to year 1.2! It will be damn embarrassing to retain so got to CHIOOONGGG!!!

Economic's Q&A turned out fine. Mr Vincent Lim's a real kind soul, unlike some other tutors who demand sooooooooo damn much. I almost cracked under pressure when we couldn't finish Marketing. The keyboard was screwy and the computers in the Cyber Centre threatens to logout every 15 minutes. Damn frustrating!!! Despite the inconvenience caused, Su, Jacq, Lix & Jol worked like superwomen and completed the project on time! xD And I swear today was one of the most embarrassing day ever. Can't believe we were such drama queens luh. When others were like taking their own sweet time to hand in their work, the drama queens RAN as if being chased by a psychopath. DAMN COMICAL. We ran all the way down the library level 1 to bind our report, ran back to biz sch, climbed flights of stairs(5th storey) and collapsed upon reaching. Our CP saw us and said, 'Why is everyone crawling around?!' Hahaha.

Went to find Hanna darling at ITAS foodcourt. While waiting for Yani, chatted w/ my lovely on the phone. Went for band. Screw Deb and Eden for scaring the hell out of me. Please don't do it again. :/ Lol! You guys really like COUPLE luh. HAHA (: So, we had sectional by the side of the predestrain crossing. Lol, my favourite spot to bum around. My darling SL doesn't even care what the section's up to. Shared 'monsterous creatures' problems with Hanna. heh heh. Weeeeeeee.. Hanna loves her 'er dou', and I love my chocolate. Hanna dear, DON'T WORRY~!!! I'll be your girlfriend and listening ear! Look forward for band to see me, alright! :D Reached home around 11PM. Took my bath and my lovely called me. Chatted while making some banana milkshake. It tasted great at the start, but sucked at the end. It's terrible, you don't wna taste it, seriously. I've learnt my lesson, never make a banana milkshake if you don't know how. Make a chocolate milkshake instead! Lol. Beware of diahorrea. :p Bananas reacts with air and turns brown real quick. So, I guess i still end up with a 'chocolate milkshake', eh? hahahas. Chemistry. *winks*

Alyite... My body is aching so bad. Feeling so darm lethargic but just can't sleep! Sigh. I had 2 hours of sleep, from 6.30AM to 8.30AM. Stayed up just to complete MArketing and Economics. Lol! But I just felt so perked up today! Lol.
Conslusion: To get a perky OR grumpy(depends) Jolene, make her stay up from night till the break of dawn. Hehehe. Alright, I'm off to BED!!! Good night and have a good rest!

Will you still love me, tomorrow~~~~ sha la la la.
devoured by confusion.